Sometimes I Hate Christianity

“The fact that conversion and salvation are of God, is an humbling truth. It is because of its humbling character that men do not like it. To be told that God must save me if I am saved, and that I am in his hand, as clay is in the hands of the potter, "I do not like it" saith one. Well, I thought you would not; whoever dreamed you would?” - C.H. Spurgeon, qu. in Iain Murray, The Forgotten Spurgeon, Banner of Truth, 2nd edn, 1973, p 60.

There are times when I have a deep revulsion for Christianity. It requires of me something that I find hard to give.

I must despair of my own ability to earn my way, my own self-sufficiency. That is burdensome for an American. It goes against everything my culture values.

I must abandon my view of myself as virtuous. I must be honest about not just my sins and failures, but also about the deep soul-sickness that afflicts me.

The Recovery Movement calls my particular maladies “character defects.” This is a good description. Things like selfishness, hatred, and greed plague me. In the Bible, these faults are described as “the sin within me” (see Romans 7:13-25).

Despite my best efforts, both before I knew Christ and as a Christian, I cannot rise completely above my own evil desires. That is humbling in the truest sense.

My animosity for Christianity is not due to a deficiency in the religion itself. It is due to a flaw in my own character.

I expect that hatred for the Christian faith is shared by many.

Our only hope is grace. Grace can be spoken of as the process by which a person is brought to the end of himself in humility and then brought to see that the goods news of Christianity’s gospel is for them.

Grace in this sense includes all of the means by which a person is persuaded to change. It is God’s supply of the desires and attitudes that lead a person to Christ in humble trust and reliance on what He has done in His life and death.

This grace God readily supplies.

(Please see search label “Extra Nos” for the rest of the story.)

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